Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
