11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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