when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
where are my eyebrows?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
