i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Randomize
