I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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