just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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