I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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