he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
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My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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