she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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