are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
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I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
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Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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