I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
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my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
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i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?