I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
