bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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