I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
