We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
don't judge my taste in strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize