You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
