): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
