I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
