Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
