I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
