it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Randomize
