This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
there is puke in my bra ... again
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