I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
