so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
