fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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