HIV tests are more positive than that guy
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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