he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
