Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
