Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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