They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
