none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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