It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
