im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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