The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
