the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
