I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
