Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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