I got chris browned last night
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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