Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
