I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
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We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
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especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You were trust falling into bushes
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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