Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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