I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
