I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
