just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize