Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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