Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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