dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
