I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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