the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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