To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
