Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
