never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
