I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
