Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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