I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
