Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
