okay pat passed out under dana's car
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize